Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What do you wish to fly free from?

Jamie asks today "What do you wish to fly from?"

I wish to be free from auto-imposed limits. Of things I tell myself that have to be done in a certain way, in a certain order, in a certain time. Constraints.

Today by 8.11am I had tears down my face while I worked because there was no way I could do it all and I couldn´t let go of a thing. Dishes HAD to be put away, more dishes HAD to be washed, the bikes HAD to be put away before any of the dogs could bite them, clothes HAD to be washed, clothes HAD to be hanged, add gym (I´m struggling with body image at the mo), bank, food shopping, food cooking, yada, yada, yada. All before noon.

If at least I´d be happy when all is done. I just feel tired and dread another day of the same.
Maybe all these things I tell myself that need to be done asap are not real. The world would still spin if the house was not finished by noon. But it doesn´t feel right yet. So I´ll go and work at warp speed now. *brave smile*

I enroled for Art Every Day Month 2010 yesterday.
It will be my 6th!!!
It is a project that Leah Piken Kolidas leads every November and as you may have guessed from the name, you commit to work on your art every day for the whole month.

Usually I have lots of ideas during October that I postpone to work on during November and come the first ... they are all gone!
So this year I´m planning on just starting and carry it on till December.
My first step was to look for one of Tati´s old cardboard books with shapes and after asking for permission ... I ran away with it. There is my gesso ready too. :)


Tabitha the KnittingJourneyman said...

As you wish for yourself, I so whole-heartedly wish for you as well.
We wished for the same thing...I know what you mean. So I am sending light and love and hugs your way.


gina said...

I also had a perfectionistic streak which caused me all kinds of stress and frustration--also exhaustion. It has taken years to find a middle place where I can feel comfortable. As Paula wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

" M " said...

Hang in there Paula , the daily grind can be overwhelming , and its ok to cry it out , I do it all the time LOL! Just remind yourself that you need to make time for you. : )

As Paula wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

Lynna G said...

I am just like you and I do this too. Auto imposed limits. I like this phrase.
Congratulations for Art every day.
You can do it.
As you wish for yourself so I wish for you also.

iHanna said...

six years of art every day month? Impressive! I want to participate too, with little daily collages but not sure I will have the "time" :-)

misteejay said...

Sending you lots of (((hugs))) as you sound like you need some.

Toni :o)

Kim Switzer said...

Big hugs and kudos for all that you are accomplishing! You deserve a pat on the back. And some time with your feet up.

As Paula wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

GlendaM said...

As Paula wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

Hang in there and enjoy the art work.

Lisa said...

As Paula wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well....oh so deeply. This "HAD", "Should" epidemic has gone insanely through our community. May we all find freedom from it. :)

Jane said...

Take good care, Paula. Just take things one day at a time ... one hour at a time, or one minute ...

I've been able to find some relief from being overwhelmed with too many things to wash, put away, deal with, is to get rid of some things. I got rid of all of the dishes except one set that we use everyday. I got rid of the old towels, and any clothes that we don't wear. It's amazing how we can keep on wearing, using, making more work for ourselves as long as there's an endless supply of stuff.

Maybe that will help.

At any rate, take good care, and hang in there!

As Paula wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
xo Jane

Mary K said...

As Paula wishes for herself, I wish for her also!

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

Wow, great wish... but lots of work to do - slow down a bit.... As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Karen D said...

Oh I so hear you on this one, please remember to be gentle with yourself, spend some time on you. The Creative Everyday is coming at a good time for all of us, I will be joinin you over there.
As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.
And thank you so much for your support and kind words on my blog, I really appreciate it!


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