I cheered her along while she wrote her newest e-book and now it is finally ready to launch I asked her to share one chapter of her choosing with my readers.
This is what she wrote back:
So, thanks to our conversation on Facebook, this post sprang to mind - "You're allowed to change your mind" I can explain why I think this one would fit with your blog - you're multi-passionate; your blog has been finding it's place in the world, and it's ok to change your mind along the way about what it and you are about!
You’re allowed to change your mindOne of my friends has always had a hard time with me being ‘such a flake’ – every time we spoke I had a new hare-brained idea, a new passion, a new obsession. I moved from accountancy to IT, I ran off to Australia for a year, I started a journalism course (I sucked), I decided to study massage therapy, I was enthused by coaching…there was always some new thing that caught my butterfly-like attention.
And he felt this was a bad thing. That I should pick something and stick to it. Uh-huh. That was never going to happen…so instead we kept having conversations where he would say ‘so, how’s x going?’ and I’d be like ‘oh my god, that’s so last week dahling’! And his eye would start to twitch and I’d get a lecture about sticking to something.
Actually, I wasn’t quite that flaky…and I’d only say ‘that’s so last week’ if I was being sarcastic. But it is a fair distillation of 30 conversations over 4 years or so. I wasn’t deliberately trying to be flaky though. I was trying to find my place in the world. And I made some mistakes. The accountancy course? Can still render me comatose with boredom just thinking about the “management information module”. SNORE!
If I had followed said friend’s advice, I would still be stuck on the management information module, trying to think of a better answer to the question ‘why do managers need information’ than ‘because they don’t know’ (seems blindingly obvious to me, but in that course you needed to write 1000’s of words about it!?)
But here’s the truth of the matter: I changed my mind about accountancy. I also changed my mind about journalism, IT and a host of other random ideas I tried. I’m allowed to change my mind. I’ve changed my mind a million times about a million things. And I know I’ve said it a lot, but this is your life – you’re allowed to make decisions about it. Even if that involves changing your mind.
Even if it means dealing with the consequences of dropping out, leaving a relationship or changing careers. This seems like a good point to make a distinction: there’s a difference between changing your mind because it’s what’s right for you and your life, and just changing your mind on a whim. Impulsive and irrational behaviour isn’t what I’m talking about here.
This is about the deep knowing in your heart that this is the right thing for you. It might look like impulsive and irrational behaviour to other people, but as long as you have the courage of your convictions, their opinions are irrelevant. I do not regret stopping the accountancy course, no matter how good a job it would have led to, no matter how exasperated my colleagues and certain friends were with me, because I knew it was right.
You need to be able to change your mind. Without that, you end up in a loveless marriage for 10 years before you can escape, or a job that stifles your soul, or doing a course for 4 years that makes you want to weep in bored frustration. Yes, yes, the ability to follow an idea through to completion is good, and if you are one of those lucky folk who knows from the age of 15 what you wish to do with the next 80 years of your life, good for you. I’m not disputing that keeping your word is good, or following a thing through to completion (I’m finishing this book, am I not?)
But it is also a good thing to be flexible, to change your mind when you realise that actually you don’t want that bloke/job/career. It’s a good thing to know your own mind – it shows strength and decisiveness and confidence (even if some people mistake it for weakness). You’re allowed to change your mind…and you will, many times in your life.
I no longer think that Duran Duran are the best band in the world. I no longer believe that the boy I fancied when I was 13 is the hottest guy alive. I changed my mind. And I’m glad I did. Because I want to live my life on what’s right for me now, not on decisions I made when I didn’t know better. If you think about it, nor do you.
Donna, better known as "Donnaonthebeach" helps women who KNOW there is more to life, to fall in love with their lives and make their Dreams a Reality along the way. If you enjoyed this article today on my blog, Donna has a gift just for you. Make sure you go to her site Donna on the beach @ http://www.donnaonthebeach.com to get a free copy of Donna’s new book “Fall In Love With Life”.
Have you changed your mind about something BIG? How did it turn out?