Friday, August 22, 2014

Fall in love with life

Some months ago I was lucky enough to get some wonderful coaching sessions with Donna from Donna on the Beach through Skype. We got along like a house on fire. She is so much fun and yet to the point with an acute eye to see where things are not working for you.

I cheered her along while she wrote her newest e-book and now it is finally ready to launch I asked her to share one chapter of her choosing with my readers.

This is what she wrote back:

Hey Paula!

So, thanks to our conversation on Facebook, this post sprang to mind - "You're allowed to change your mind"  I can explain why I think this one would fit with your blog - you're multi-passionate; your blog has been finding it's place in the world, and it's ok to change your mind along the way about what it and you are about!





You’re allowed to change your mind

One of my friends has always had a hard time with me being ‘such a flake’ – every time we spoke I had a new hare-brained idea, a new passion, a new obsession.  I moved from accountancy to IT, I ran off to Australia for a year, I started a journalism course (I sucked), I decided to study massage therapy, I was enthused by coaching…there was always some new thing that caught my butterfly-like attention.

And he felt this was a bad thing.  That I should pick something and stick to it.  Uh-huh.  That was never going to happen…so instead we kept having conversations where he would say ‘so, how’s x going?’ and I’d be like ‘oh my god, that’s so last week dahling’!  And his eye would start to twitch and I’d get a lecture about sticking to something.

Actually, I wasn’t quite that flaky…and I’d only say ‘that’s so last week’ if I was being sarcastic.  But it is a fair distillation of 30 conversations over 4 years or so.  I wasn’t deliberately trying to be flaky though.  I was trying to find my place in the world.  And I made some mistakes.  The accountancy course?  Can still render me comatose with boredom just thinking about the “management information module”.  SNORE!

If I had followed said friend’s advice, I would still be stuck on the management information module, trying to think of a better answer to the question ‘why do managers need information’ than ‘because they don’t know’ (seems blindingly obvious to me, but in that course you needed to write 1000’s of words about it!?)

But here’s the truth of the matter:  I changed my mind about accountancy.  I also changed my mind about journalism, IT and a host of other random ideas I tried.  I’m allowed to change my mind.  I’ve changed my mind a million times about a million things.  And I know I’ve said it a lot, but this is your life – you’re allowed to make decisions about it.  Even if that involves changing your mind.

Even if it means dealing with the consequences of dropping out, leaving a relationship or changing careers.  This seems like a good point to make a distinction:  there’s a difference between changing your mind because it’s what’s right for you and your life, and just changing your mind on a whim.  Impulsive and irrational behaviour isn’t what I’m talking about here.

This is about the deep knowing in your heart that this is the right thing for you.  It might look like impulsive and irrational behaviour to other people, but as long as you have the courage of your convictions, their opinions are irrelevant.  I do not regret stopping the accountancy course, no matter how good a job it would have led to, no matter how exasperated my colleagues and certain friends were with me, because I knew it was right.

You need to be able to change your mind.  Without that, you end up in a loveless marriage for 10 years before you can escape, or a job that stifles your soul, or doing a course for 4 years that makes you want to weep in bored frustration.  Yes, yes, the ability to follow an idea through to completion is good, and if you are one of those lucky folk who knows from the age of 15 what you wish to do with the next 80 years of your life, good for you.  I’m not disputing that keeping your word is good, or following a thing through to completion (I’m finishing this book, am I not?)

But it is also a good thing to be flexible, to change your mind when you realise that actually you don’t want that bloke/job/career.  It’s a good thing to know your own mind – it shows strength and decisiveness and confidence (even if some people mistake it for weakness).  You’re allowed to change your mind…and you will, many times in your life.

I no longer think that Duran Duran are the best band in the world.  I no longer believe that the boy I fancied when I was 13 is the hottest guy alive.  I changed my mind.  And I’m glad I did.  Because I want to live my life on what’s right for me now, not on decisions I made when I didn’t know better.  If you think about it, nor do you.


Donna, better known as "Donnaonthebeach" helps women who KNOW there is more to life, to fall in love with their lives and make their Dreams a Reality along the way.  If you enjoyed this article today on my blog, Donna has a gift just for you. Make sure you go to her site Donna on the beach @ http://www.donnaonthebeach.com to get a free copy of Donna’s new book “Fall In Love With Life”.

Have you changed your mind about something BIG? How did it turn out?



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29 comments:

Ana Lynn Amelio said...

The biggest thing I changed my mind about was dropping out of college after I realized my heart is just not into being a translator/interpreter. My entire family (save for my husband) still thinks to this day that I will one day return to finish it even though I now do something completely else for a living; something that really makes me happy and doesn't feel like work at all!

Samantha Angell said...

This is a great post. There definitely is a distinction between changing your mind for a good reason, and changing it just to change things up.

bxcrochet said...

I did a major life change when I left teaching to be a stay at home mom. I don't regret that decision for a minute.

Michelle F.

Ashley Abele said...

I absolutely have changed my mind- and more than once! I became a stay at home mom without anticipating doing that, and then became a work at home mom. I changed degrees, colleges, and since then professions. I think you need to follow what feels right for you as much as possible to find happiness in life!

Cyndie said...

I made a big change. I left my 20 year career and became a stay at home Mom to my special needs son.

Catherine Sargent said...

What a great post. I made a big change when I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. It is the best decision I have ever made.

Julie V said...

Very cool article. My husband is an accountant, so it made me laugh to read about your boredom. He knows most people don't like accounting, and he's happy to run the numbers for all those people.
But for all of us who are still searching and changing, sometimes we need someone to tell us they're in our corner :)

Lisa said...

Not Recently But If I Do I ALWAYS Way The Pros & Cons Great Tip & Advice We Can All Use!

Heather Jones said...

Great post! I've changed my mind on a lot of things and I too really haven't found where I fit most in this world. I think I'm finding it. But I do often feel lost. I think its perfectly healthy to change your mind from time to time.

Mrs. Mashed Up said...

Great piece. I truly believe that every person should learn, grow, and change as they go through life. That definitely means trying new things and changing your career or going from one phase to another.

♥ Vanessa said...

The biggest change in my life was to decide not to live in a city. Though there are many more jobs in the city, I am spending less money and really enjoying my country home.

Liz Mays said...

Oh heck yes, I've changed my mind plenty of times. That's how I got to better places in life!

Tiffany said...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind, ESPECIALLY if its for better quality of life. Remembering to live for yourself vs others is important for happiness!

Gabby OBrien said...

I think we need to reinforce the idea that we are allowed to change our mind. This is so important for everyone to realize! It's not flip-flopping or being fake, when we are presented with new information or ideas we are allowed to change our mind.

Ave T said...

It's really scary to change your mind about big things, but sometimes it's for the best. I think it's important to do what feels right to you.

Bonnie G said...

I change my mind all the time. Sometimes it turns out for the best.

Rebecca Swenor said...

Great post and advice. I have made many changes in life like dropping out of college with one yr to go to be a stay at home mom. Thanks for sharing

Sweepster said...

Cause and consequence. Yes, you can change your mind. You can change your mind often. But you cannot always change your mind. There are situations where you shouldn't change your mind. When it makes you a hypocrite is one such example.

mail4rosey said...

The older I get, the more I listen to that 'feeling' inside that tells me if it's right or wrong for me. My instinct is usually pretty spot-on. :)

Chrissy Mazzocchi said...

I change my mind constantly, it drives my Husband crazy too lol

Ann B said...

I really needed to read this post today. I am always changing my mind. Some people don't like it but this post reminded me that I am allowed to do it.

geanine petraglia said...

I did a major life change after i gave birth to my daughter. Although unintentional and their have been medical repercussions my family and I are trying to roll with it.

Paulina @ Color Me Brave said...

Love this!!! Really need to check out this book for myself.

Melissa said...

I can't even imagine how boring life would be if nobody ever changed their mind. Regardless, I need to get my hands on this book!

Joanna Sormunen said...

I've changed my life maaany times too.And I have learnt so much trough all those adventures. And even the carreers, experiences and challenges don't seem to have anything to do with each other, still somehow everything that I have done has helped me in my life.

Michael said...

Fall in love with life....don't think that will happen again but I do love my friends,my cheetah and the interactions I have my blog. Everything else is just one minute after another...

Donna said...

I love that so many of you have changed your minds...and it's ok! :-D Thank you all for your nice comments about the article...hope you enjoy the book too! xx

Sharon Ruggieri said...

I totally agree...we are allowed to change our minds. However, I was a bit disappointed about the comment on marriage. Marriage is not like a job, or school...that takes a real commitment and I don't believe you get to change your mind, I believe you need to work at it. People can and will fall in love again. That being said...happy changing!

MaryJane Tauyan said...

i do change my mind a lot of time sand i can say that it was a good move for me

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