Apply the Oxygen Mask and Seek Support

Today my guest Michael Bloom, author of the book “The Accidental Caregiver’s Survival Guide: Your Roadmap to Caregiving Without Regret.” talks about creativity as a life saver.

"There are many different types of family caregivers: people caring forspouses who become ill or disabled, parents caring for children with disabilities, adult children caring for aging parents, family members caring for an injured veteran who returns from war, or to a loved one who suffers a traumatic brain injury after a car accident. Many caregivers, especially moms, perform more than one caregiving role such as providing care to an elderly parent with dementia and to a child with a disability – also referred to as a sandwich generation caregiver. Due to their dedication, many caregivers are at great risk for burnout and a personal health decline that puts their loved ones at risk.

Almost every family caregiver throughout the world assumes her/his role without pre-planning. The role emerges as a result of an unexpected family member health crisis that results in illness, injury, or disability. When duty calls, the caregiver jumps in to support the loved one in need without hesitation and puts other parts of their life on hold or on the back burner.

Most caregivers try do it all on their own as they do not want to burden others with the many responsibilities associated with care.  As a result, they pass on job opportunities, decrease work hours, or even leave jobs, which can diminish their own financial security. They may stop focusing on personal health which increases their own risk for serious illness or disease.  

Although most caregivers perform heroically and show a positive face to support their loved ones, they can break down physically and emotionally.  This low energy can even carry over to ignoring or delaying the implementation of what they can control – such as coordinating appointments or activities that are personally beneficial.

Unfortunately, caregivers usually devote little or no time to having fun with friends or intimate partners. They may give up personal hobbies and recreational activities that previously provided great fulfillment and joy. Basically, the life of a caregiver can sadly transform to one of all work, no play, and no joy. It does not need to be this way.  

The good news is that with a renewed commitment to self it is possible to recharge your caregiving energy now and save your own life in the process. Think about it this way. Before an airplane takes off, the flight attendant shares emergency instructions. One of the primary directions is that when the oxygen masks drop overhead, it is vital for parents to place them on themselves before applying to the children. Otherwise, they run the risk of passing out which could lead to death for both the parent and child. The same principle applies to effective caregiving. Apply the oxygen mask first to yourself and then apply it to your loved one so both of you can survive to see another day. 

crafty Saturday afternoon at home

Once you commit to taking care of yourself and willingly seek support from others, you and your loved one can actually thrive during the caregiving journey.  Start by making a list of all of the tasks you do to manage your household and take care of your loved one.  When other family members or friends ask how they can be of support, you will have a menu of items for them to choose from.  People respond and perform best when they are given a choice to contribute based upon their individual abilities, preferences, and talents.

When seeking support from others, do not forget the younger generation.  Children and teens enjoy feeling valued and can play an important role in helping to care for loved ones, especially grandparents and siblings with special needs.  Young people who get involved with caregiving responsibilities will learn important life skills and can bring joy to the situation. This can allow you to take a little time for yourself.  You might go out for a walk, read a book, take a relaxing bath, listen to music, get together with a friend, or participate in a favorite hobby.

After you complete your personal respite activity, make sure to share lots of appreciation with the young family member who provided the support.  An expression of deep gratitude will keep them motivated to do more in the future.  Do not overuse one child/teen and make sure they have opportunities to get breaks from the stresses of family caregiving as well.  Check in and have in-depth conversations with your child to answer any questions or address any concerns.  This will leave the young person feeling like a valued and contributing family member.  Best of all, it will enhance harmony and satisfaction in the home, which will be great for all involved. 

Go forward with love and support, fellow caregiver!

Guest Author Bio:

Michael is a Certified Professional Coach and Caregiving Without Regret™ Expert A. Michael Bloom, MA, MS, CPC, has energized hundreds of caregivers with soul-saving coping strategies that support them in saving lives, including their own. With a wealth of practical expertise as both a family and professional caregiver, Michael serves as a welcome and sought-after catalyst to guide caregivers to stay energized and committed to work that has never been more important than it is today.

You can learn more about the book at http://www.theaccidentalcaregiverssurvivalguide.com

and Michael’s coaching and speaking services at  http://www.bloomforcoach.com.

Whether you are a caregiver or not, what will you do FOR YOURSELF this weekend?

Keeping memories: How to organize your photos. Paper version

You have tons of photographs. Both the paper and the digital type. So many that they feel overwhelming. It is time to put some order to your memories.

My granfather on his grandmother´s knees. Ca 1907

First thing you need to know: where are your photographs?

Paper copies.
Are they in boxes, envelopes or albums? Gather them in one place to start sorting.
Most useful way to keep them in order to find what we are looking for quickly is in chronological order. Make some "When, Who, When, Why" notes. You might remember when these were taken and who is on them now but will you remember in 20 years time?

Tip: add a 6x4 card with all the notes in the envelope or place it as another picture in the picture slots of the albums.

For the older paper pictures that came from film: where are the negatives? Are they placed with the envelopes / albums or are they mixed up? If they are with their paper versions, leave them where they are. If they are mixed up, place them together in a box. We will come back to order those later.

Tip: when you actually go through the negatives add a small white label sticker on the negatives envelope with the date.

As I am a scrapbooker I print what I want to put in the albums. Those pictures are stored by album theme and sub theme. Click here to read a post showing you how I do that. 

Do you have photographs in frames at your home/ ofice? Do you update them with newer versions?

Keeping records: diaries

That was it. My mom had discovered my diary. I felt 12 again. That´s the age I was when I had written that diary back in the summer of 1979. A diary I could not even remember having written when it was found in 2011. 

I was using every delaying trick in my book while desperately trying to remember. I was almost sure I hadn´t mentioned the butterfly necklace incident. Had I written that Mónica had smoked after school one day? She could sooooooo get into trouble next time our moms talked.

“Oooohhhhh! Errrrmmmm. Yesssss. Those magazines. Were there any Christmas issues? They were my favourites.” I mumbled, but mom was not falling for that. “Yes, there were two Christmas issues at the top. Your diary was at the bottom”.

A few months before the discovery I had been contacted on line by a friend from those days who had linked me to another one. We hadn´t met since finishing our primary school and barely seen each other on line. The day after I got my diary the three of us were there on Facebook at the same time. We decided to meet again and read the diary together.

Isabel, Paula and Suky in 2011

Here are two double spreads from my diary.

The first was written in November 1979 (aged 12 and 9months)  It represents the writer, my storyteller with a camera side. It is a story mostly fictional and over the top sentimental but based on real characters. It mentions my cousin and her age, not even a year old then. Alexandra is 35 now with her own 9 year old son. She is my son´s Godmother and a fellow animé lover who we meet at conventions. I drew a scene from the story and zoomed in, as I would now with my digital camera.

Almost like an early version of my blogging, back in 1979

The second was written in February 1980, a few days before my 13th birthday. It represents my memory keeper side. I wrote exactly what each of us had for dinner out at a fancy restaurant and the cost of the souvenirs I bought. I still have some of the items I mention!

I didn´t include any of my “end of school” pages that I read with Isabel and Adriana as they are full of people´s names and I didn´t feel comfortable posting them. Not to mention the “who likes who” stories!!!  Lol.

As I told you a couple of weeks ago when we were discovering our creativity cycles and how our energy flow, in our old diaries there are signs of who we are right there in our words, in what we found important, in what we noticed and recorded.  I found the writer, the storyteller, the camera holder, the memory keeper in those pages.

Do you follow Julia Cameron´s recommendation of morning pages? Those are three handwritten pages to be used as a brain cleaning and compass calibrating exercise.
I always do them for long haul projects like the 70 chapters of "The Sound of Paper".

Tell me. Do you keep a diary?

Planning and scheduling: calendars and planners

It is never too late to start a project! No matter if we are two, four or eleven months into the year. You can start where you are right now!
Take Buenos Aires for example. Here March is the "true" beginning of the year with the kids going back to school, loads of new courses and everybody back from their summer holidays.

What is the first step to plan a project? A time frame.

I start with a BIG calendar. In this case looking at the whole year to choose what to do when.

Year by seasons on my wall

Which projects to choose? Let´s start by goal setting. You can go the colourful way with pretty pens or a more linear B&W scheme. Once you have your goals you can translate them into action plans with detailed steps on how to get where you are going.

Goal setting with colours and music

And now onto scheduling the plan you have.
Last week I told you that for me home and work need separate plans, that is why I have two planners.

After a few years of trying out page-a-day and two-days-per-page planners for work I have decided that a-week-at-a-glance is the format that works best for me. I can schedule things and see the pattern. Eg: every Wednesday, a content post. Guest posts on Fridays. I can have a visual reference to know where I have "empty spaces" quick and also measure the time left for a deadline.

A week at a glance home planner with crossed out done tasks

Each time a task is completed you get the satisfaction of crossing it out! :D

Tell me: Do you use a planner? Paper or digital?

Discovering your creativity cycles

For the fist two months of the year, each Sunday I scribbled a note on my planner about how the week had been. I named my weeks to discover a pattern.
Let´s have a look:

1. Great start
2. Got even better
3. I forgot where I was going
4. La la la laaaaaa
5. I tried again
6. Seriously
7. I do some other life stuff
8. Shiny object (back to school organization / shopping) distracts me

See it? Yes, I saw it too. Two weeks of good work, two weeks running around like a headless chicken distracted by the  "must do this before ...."s.


 If you haven´t recognized your pattern yet, go back to your old planners and diaries. All the information you need is there and knowing your Modus Operandi will allow you to respect and take advantage of your energy and focus cycles.

This is what I have discovered so far about mine based on the past three years notes.

33 years worth of old planners. Yes, I am a memory keeper :D

• I work better with a plan and a schedule
• Home and work need separate plans even if they intersect
• 6 weeks is the best time frame for "Big" projects
• I have 2 weeks of creative focus and 2 weeks of fill in work per month

Tell me: What is your pattern?

Next Wednesday: planners and diaries!

So I sat and watched my good intentions crumble

Good intentions. Those shiny, uplifting, feel-good plans you have at the beginning of a cycle.
I hit the floor running this year and arrived at our Patagonian cabin with an armful of notebooks and plenty of Post It notes.

My view while I created a year of photography prompts

 You can read about the creative process here.
I read some books, including The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

The author wrote back to me when I sent her this photograph. :)

I listened to The Unmistakable Creative podcast and was inspired by the interviews by Srinivas Rao.

Yes, I sent Srini this photograph and he wrote back. ;)

We hiked ten kilometres up the mountain to the Refugio Frey among other wonderful walks around the Andes.

That is me, our daughter Tatiana, my hubbie Daniel and our son Matías.

I felt ... happy. :) Hopeful, grounded, clear.

And then we came back home. And life happened. Tons of laundry, bills to pay, general housework and I´m not even mentioning my least favourite chore. Appointments to make, forms to fill out, schedules.

I lost my creative compass and for a split second was tempted to throw it all away and declare 2014 lost.

Really? In three days? That must be a record.

But then I decided that a day late was ok. That I could tell you my story as it is. The super organized gal who can be a headless chicken for a while and fights to get her way back to creativity and order.

Do you have "back home overwhelm"?

PS: it is not late to plan your year. If you blog Delia from Blog formatting is offering a planning session on February 1st so you can get all your ducks in a row. :D Go enrole at this free training now at her Evenbrite by clicking here.

PS2: I´ll be back. ;)

Week #43 2013 Join "Life on the go!"

Life on the Go is a new Facebook group for meeting cool people from all over the world, sharing their view on daily life through pictures taken with their cell phones. From the seasonal fruit to the buses, from the breakfast table for six to the take away for one, from their knitting to their moving boxes, from the birthday cake decorated with Angry Birds to the books on their side table. Life. Glorious, ordinary life.

These are my pics were taken for Creative Every Day challenge 2013 by Leah Piken Kolidas. I´m taking at least a picture a day for the whole year. I´ve checked 292 out of the possible 300 pictures for 2013 so far. Click on the pictures to see them bigger!

Monday, October 21st (287/294): the theme for this week was food. I´m very much of a linear thinker but sometimes I jump sideways. Today I took a pic of what we use to wash the dishes that had food on them. ;)

 Tuesday, October 22nd (288/295): Yes, I know, that is not food either but it was our day´s highlight. Or low light. I saw steam coming from under my hood while driving. With my best "damsel in distress" look I stopped at a service station where I got help.

Wednesday, October 23rd (289/296): waiting for tea (food) my son shows his grandma his new card tricks. :D

Thursday, October 24th (290/297): you can eat oysters but this time we were diving for pearls. I joined Jamie Ridler Studios Pearl Diving Workshop and this is what three hours of work looks like.

Friday, October 25th (291/298): can´t find a pic for today!

Saturday, October 26th (291/299): midnight tea. Picture taken at 23:55.

Sunday, October 27th (292/300): yummy. ;)

Deborah Nicholas does it again!

Last year when Deborah Nicholas launched her book  Gifts from Your Kitchen I invited her to share some of her recipies here on my blog.

Now this female powerhouse has done it again and she is launching  Deborah Nicholas Design, her own shop in Durham, UK.

 It is full to the brim of Debbie´s creations. Handmade, beautifully decorated objects like lip balms, painted frames, shadow boxes, candles, cupcakes and many more wonderful gifts.

Silver lid, boxed and ribbon wrapped hand poured candles in either Spiced Apple, Dark Cherry or Baby Powder.

  

You can find Debbie at her blog Country Heart and Home and participate in her Make It Monday or be tempted by her Foodie Friday. You will also meet her husband, her gorgeous boys and her little princess walking around the beautiful local landscape.

And if you are looking for a cool gathering of crafting teachers in a dreamy environment you can join one of the retreats at Creative Heart and Soul.










This is one of my favourite pieces by Debbie and will be my illustration for week #23. Thank you Debbie!

What space do you wish to create? And a few news apps

Every Wednesday I participate in Jamie Ridler Studios´ Wishcasting Wednesday practice. Knowing what I wish for helps me guide my actions.

Today Jamie asks "What space do you wish to create?". You can participate too by joining the Linky party at Jamie´s prompt post.

I´ve been on a "Create Space" mission this year in preparation of our exchange student arriving in July. And sharing the process in my "Keep It Simple, Make It Work" series here every Sunday.
Want to see what we´ve been up to?

* This is what 15 years of utilities services bills look like. I phoned ecah company to ask how many did we need to keep. In Argentina services like Gas, Electricity and Telephone ask you to keep the records for 5 years. Otehrs like TV, Security and Health Care just one.

  Clue to bonfire night with 10 years of records!

* Boxes of products we didn´t have any more. Yes, those boxes that we had kept "Just in case". Off they went.

 * The medicines drawer was full of fliers, scraps of paper, odds and ends.

 * One of the toys shelves in the armoire. Everything was (in several weekends. Never take out more than you can organzie!) taken out, what was staying was chosen and the whole concept reshuffled.

 * The bathroom got some loving too.

 * Thanks to the new search engines I no longer need to keep so many "places to vist" fliers or newspaper clippings. I went through eaaaaaaaaaach folder and box. Got rid of what was no longer relevant or could find through another on line source. There were fliers of places we had actually visited that I kept.
I keep things I use or LOVE.

More examples and teh daily tasks instructions on how to do this in the Keep It Simple, Make It Work series.
Am I finished? No way.
~ Still going through magazines stacks. I hadn´t realized I had so many in different corners of the house! Got my old ones from 9 boxes to 7. Small dent but I made some friends happy posting them on FB up for grabs. Now on to the decoration ones.
~ Some more small drawers and shelves.

It is not only a physical job and physical space I´m wishing to create, it is also an emotional journey. Letting go of my carefree youth and fully becoming a fortysomething. Even some pieces that belonged to my young mom stage and my kids early childhood. I have teens now! ;) This transformation will be interesting. Let´s see where it takes me!

Today´s "theme" for Blogathon 2013 is Apps. I basically use my mobile devices for info consumption, I listen to podcasts and read Facebook. For content creation I use my laptop. Yes, I know, it´s supposed to be mobile as well but it just moves from the kitchen to the livingroom, it´s never out of  the house. The only other things I have are news channels.

Todo Noticias, Deutsche Welle, Capital FM, Huffington Post (lots of my friends read it and post links on FB), BBC News, CNN, Financial Times and The Times.